The other day someone asked me what my favourite blog for stepmoms is.
They wanted to know where I turn when I’m looking for support or guidance.
The question stopped me in my tracks. Because the truth is, I don’t read stepmom blogs for personal support. I really don’t.
During those early stepmom years, I dove into all the stepfamily resources I could find.
When I was struggling, I was a regular reader of Stepmom Magazine. I’d google resources and read the latest stepmom articles on Scary Mommy and stay up to date on The Huffington Post.
But to be honest, outside of stuff for this platform, now, I don’t read a thing. At this point, I don’t feel like I need to.
I don’t mean to sound arrogant, and please don't confuse what I am saying. It’s not that we don’t have the stressors. It’s not that our stepfamily life is perfect or that we don’t have issues. We do. OHHHH trust me on that one.
It’s that now, the things that used to throw me into a tailspin, no longer affect me.
I don’t dwell.
I don’t get consumed.
I don’t feel insecure.
I don’t struggle with my role as a stepmom.
I have the tools in my toolbox (if you will) to deal with the stressors so that they don’t knock me on my ass the way they once did.
Things that used to send me to our bathroom floor with a glass of wine, now, are no sweat off my back.
The strategies I learned at the beginning, continue to work, even as our stepfamily stressors evolve.
So, I can’t really answer the question because I don’t have a favourite stepmom blogger. I don’t have a favourite person I follow online.
WHAT I WANT FOR YOU…
This got me thinking about what I want for every stepmom who religiously reads this blog (and even the ones who don’t).
I want YOU to get to this point too.
I want you to spend your time on the internet scrolling through fun fashion blogs, or other interesting hobbies… not stepmom support.
I want you to get to the point where your latest stepmom saga doesn’t throw you into a tailspin.
I want you to feel so confident in yourself that you don’t need to go to a Facebook Group or a blog post to see what other people are doing.
I WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU’VE GOT THIS, BECAUSE YOU DO!!!
Look, this isn’t me telling you that I don’t WANT you to read this blog… I love this community we’ve built! But I do want you to get to the point where you don’t NEED it!
At the beginning I struggled HUGE! I was a mess.
But after a lot of work on myself and my family I eventually got to the point where I realized that even though so many of our stepfamily stressors are the same as they once were, everything is completely different.
No scratch that. I am completely different.
And with that my marriage is completely different.
And my relationship with my stepkids and even my husband’s ex-wife was completely different…
(even though I was the one seeking change and not them)
The whole purpose of this platform is to get you to this point too!
WHAT WAS IT LIKE FOR ME AT THE BEGINNING?
I’ve said this a thousand times, but I was so overwhelmed with anxiety that my hands would literally shake. I couldn’t think about anything but the latest saga and what I could do to do fix it.
I was the stepmom who naively thought that I could swoop in and fix everything, so I took everything ON!
But in doing so, I wasn’t productive in other areas of my life. I wasn’t confident. I wasn’t happy. I questioned my every move. And I felt like a failure, because as I am sure I don’t have to tell you… it didn’t work!
Then there came a point, when I made the decision that THIS was NOT going to be the way I lived my life. That’s when the work began.
The point of this platform and all of my resources is to get YOU here too!
THIS COMMUNITY AT THE VERY BEGINNING
The other day I was thinking about the women who took The KICK-ASS Stepmom Project when I first launched the program. THEY were my regular blog readers. They were my regular commenters on social media. They were the ones who were in my inbox and active in the Facebook Group.
Guess what… I barely hear from them now (except when we catch up as friends). WHY? Because their lives changed to! They no longer need the regular support.
It’s actually pretty amazing when you really think about it… and shows how possible it really is!