I've made it no secret that every now and then, I am blown away by some of the things that come out of people’s mouths!
The things that people have said about my role as a stay-at-home-mom/stepmom, working-at-home-mom… however you want to categorize me on any particular day, is no exception.
When my husband I decided that I would not go back to my "real job" after our daughter was born it never occurred to me that my new role as a stay-at-home-wife would be subject to so many stereotypes, judgements and snide remarks.
(You may have noticed that I changed the label to stay-at-home-wife there, because if you’re looking for the WHOLE truth, my daughter goes to day-care, or “little school” as we call it, every single day of the week. I’m not even with her all day. Feel free to leave your judgements about that one in the comments below. I'll file them under the "I don't care" section")
When I used to read blog posts on the "stay-at-home/working-mom war" my reaction was "come on really? That doesn’t happen!”
I honestly thought these stay-at-home-mom bloggers were being way to sensitive! I thought, maybe those working moms are right, these women have way too much time on their hands!
Well. I sure was wrong!
Like I said above, it didn’t take long for me to discover that there is a series stigma associated with being a stay-at-home-mom.
Today, because I'm feeling especially frisky after yet another assumption that I stay home binge watching Netflicks and eating Cheetos all day, I thought I’d write a list of things that people have said to me… that like I said… have BLOWN.MY.MIND.
Stay-at-home-moms/stepmoms I hope reading it is as therapeutic for you, as writing it is for me!
1. I couldn't stay at home I need to feel accomplished at the end of the day
See above for my comment about the assumption that I sit at home binge watching Netficks.
The first draft of this post included a long list of all the things that I do in fact do throughout the day. But I decided to not include them, because I don’t have to justify the happenings of my day to anyone!
But I assure you, as a SAHM mom, a wife and an entrepreneur my to-do list is full. In fact, like "working moms", I wouldn’t mind a few extra hours at the end of the day to get just a little more done!
But even if that wasn’t the case, Even if I “JUST” a stay-at-home-mom, and wasn’t a wasn’t an entrepreneur with extra jobs that “stay-at-home-moms” don’t have…. I can assure you, my to-do list would STILL be full.
2. I couldn't stay at home. I need a life outside of the house
You know stay-at-home-moms are allowed to leave the house right? and not just for pick-up/drop-off, grocery store runs, and to grab the dry cleaning?
3. I don’t understand how you do it. I couldn’t stay at home all day.
Again, I do leave the house, but we’ve already addressed that.
And guess what … you don’t have to understand how I do it. It really doesn’t concern you.
Because honestly, I don’t understand how you go to work and sit in a desk all day. Truthfully, I would stab my eyeballs with a pencil and/or sipping wine out of a flask by 2pm.
On a similar note, I also don’t understand how a nurse goes to work and deals with blood and gross bodily fluids all day either. But I respect the job that she does.
I also don’t understand how a dentist goes to work and hangs out in people’s mouths all day. I would literally puke. But again, I respect it.
To really hammer in the point, I have no freaking idea how teachers go to school and spend the day with up to 30 children. But they find it fulfilling and someone has to do it, so again, I respect the role!
The great thing is, there are so many different roles people can play in society that we all don’t need to understand why anyone does anything. Everyone has different passions and different priorities… How about we just be happy that other people are happy and content with what their doing, and I don’t know, mind our own business?
4. Don’t you feel like you went to school for a long time to just have “Blogger” on your linked-in profile?
No I don’t. But I guess you do!
Here’s a few reasons why.
1. My education was invaluable, and taught me many transferable skills that I am in fact using in all areas of my life. INCLUDING my online business! (Different subject for a different day)
2. If I wanted to, which at this point I don’t, I could go back to “work”. At that point, I will change my linked-in profile so it stops bothering you so much.
3. Clearly we need to re-evaluate our definition of the word “work”… just because I stay at home in my lulus and have decided to step outside of the box doesn't mean I don't have a job!
5. Does it make you upset that you’re sacrificing so much to support your husband’s career?
I actually don’t even know how to answer this question, but I’ll try! First, I am not sacrificing anything. My husband didn’t order me to quit my job. He didn’t tell me that because I am now his little wifey, I get to stay at home and bake muffins and prepare the roast for dinner. In fact, my dinners suck.
This was a decision that we made together because it is what works for OUR family. My dreams have not been shattered. I do not have some void because I don’t clock in at my 9-5 job. It is important to me (and to us) to have someone be available for the kids during the day.
In supporting my husband’s career and “sacrificing so much” as you so colourfully put it, I’ve actually been given the opportunity to build something that I am even more passionate about than I was my “real job”. Again, can we please re-evaluate our definition of “work”.
That is all.
I feel better!
Thanks for listening
Gotta run... I'm watching season 2 of Nashville on Netflicks, and it's getting GOOD!