The ground is covered with snow. Home Alone is playing on repeat (who else knows all the words?) and the tree is up. The holiday season is OFFICIALLY here.
Bring on the joy! But also bring on the work!
As stepmoms and moms, we tend to think about everyone else this time of year (which is great, because I don’t know about you, but around here, Christmas wouldn’t all come together if it weren’t for me).
But this year I want to encourage you to think about YOURSELF too… you’re the rock of your family. You keep the wheels turning (whether you get the appreciation you deserve or not) You’re also the one that gets shhh done.
And being a stepmom isn't easy.
You’re good enough until you’re not.
You’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t.
You’re the one who sacrifices!
It can be exhausting.
You know that I’m a big advocate for personal development!
I’m all about being deliberate about the life that I want to live, and always seeking to improve myself in some way shape or form.
Personally, I don’t want to look back on my life and think “I could have done better but I let the BS get in the way.”
So come Christmas time, as much as I am excited about all things celebrating with the fam, my mind naturally goes to the following year - and I start setting resolutions for how I can amp things up.
I have this little tradition where every Christmas I treat myself to some sort of resource that is going to help me do just that. I invest in something that is going to help me take myself to the next level the following year. Basically, every Christmas I give MYSELF a gift!
The first year I invested in a stepmom course with Jenna Korf from Stepmom-Help. The following year I took B-School with Marie Forleo to help me figure out how to do all the things I do on this online platform – I literally knew nothing when I decided to start doing this. (SIDEBAR: When I say I’m figuring things out as I go, I truly am figuring things out as I go.)
For the past two years, I’ve invested in counselling to help me plow through some of the crap that keeps creeping up from my childhood (guys, by the way, I highly recommend counselling, for like every person walking the planet).
At the end of the day, these gifts to myself, have made me a better wife, mom and stepmom. The whole family reaps the benefits, ALL year round… because as we all know, HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE (same goes for happy mama and step-mama too right?).
Every day I get questions from stepmoms asking me
how to deal with an ex-wife who is impossible to co-parent with
how to get on the same page as your husband
how to stop being perceived as the bad guy
how to develop a relationship with in-laws who are still tight with the ex
how to stop feeling insecure about being the second wife
the list goes on
The questions hit me where it hurts. Not just because I feel sick that another woman is struggling the way that I did, but because I want to give you a big shake (slash hug) and tell you that the change you’re seeking starts with YOU!
I’m not just blowing smoke with all the content I put out.
I’m not someone who has it all together all the time. I’m not a stepmom who came into this stepmom role with all the answers (if you want proof, listen my first podcast where Darren and I talked all about what that first year of our marriage was REALLY like).
We’ve had major road blocks. We’ve had really bad days. We've had REALLY bad months. This whole online platform started after I spent an evening on the bathroom floor bawling my eyes out. I only talk about that one evening, but trust me, there were LOTS of bad evenings.
We’ve had our share our issues and we continue to have them. But we work through them without CHANGING anything that anyone/anything that is causing us stress is doing...
Because we know we can’t. Trust me, we’ve tried (like REALLY freaking tried).
For the most part – the issues that we have today are the same issues that we had back then – give or take a bit – what’s different is US and how we approach them.
I was doing a Beachbody video the other day and the instructor said,
“it doesn’t get easier, you just get better”
and while she was talking about the squats we were doing, it rings true here too!
But guys, change started with ME! I did the work on MYSELF and my relationships. I did this without anyone in my family knowing I was doing it, and I'm here to get you to this place too!
This year I want to encourage you to invest in YOURSELF and YOUR family for your Christmas. Gift yourself (or ask your partner) for some sort of resource that will set you guys up for a better 2019.
Whether it be my program, The KICK-ASS Stepmom Project or something else you’ve been eyeing up, YOU DESERVE to live a better life.
Did you grab your FREE copy of The Secret to Improving Your Stepfamily Life yet? If so, you should definitely get on that get on that!
Implement the tips outlined in this guide and you’ll see change in your stepfamily life, I can pretty much guarantee it! You can grab your copy HERE!