It still blows my mind how many phenomenal women I've been able to connect with via what started out as a blog that I thought no one would ever read!
Today I want to introduce you to my dear friend Kendall. Even though we've never met in person, she hold's a special place in this Stepmama's heart.
I had a chance to interview Kendall a few months back, and am thrilled to be able to share her story with you. This stepmama of two just welcomed an "ours" baby into her little family. Her pictures on social media show just how happy this new addition has made her whole crew!
Tell me about your family...
Trent and I were married on 12/13/14, he has two precious babies from a previous marriage, a girl that is 11 and a boy that will soon be 9. We just had our first baby together on 1/20/17, and our family couldn’t be happier!
How long have you been with your husband?
I met Trent in February of 2014, started “exclusively dating” in June, and were married on 12/13/14.
What is your access schedule like?
How is your relationship with your husband’s ex wife?
We only communicate about the kids.
What is the most difficult thing about being a Stepmom?
I have never had a problem with speaking up, defending the truth and protecting what is mine, but when becoming a stepparent you don’t have a “mine” or “ours” yet… I had no children brought into our marriage and initially I had trouble with knowing where the boundaries were.
I have learned to ask for opinions from my Husband and my bonus babies. If they approve and want my help or attendance then I will proceed.
What is the most rewarding thing about being a Stepmom?
One of the most rewarding things about being a Stepmom is the gratitude and the “thank you’s”. I have put my heart and soul into my little family and when my stepdaughter an stepson come up and hug me and say thank you for the smallest thing, it makes my heart happy. Regardless whether it was making a PB&J, helping them study or doing their laundry. Voicing their gratitude means so much to me.
What’s one of the biggest mistakes you have made as a Stepmom?
Thinking that i could fix something that I didn’t break. I wanted to come into this blended family situation and mend every broken heart, and it took me a long time to realize that I cannot do that. I control the situations in my home & not the past relationship that was once there.
If your best friend told you she was about to start dating a man with kids, what would you tell her?
Respect Boundaries and take your time learning about blended families, ask for help and advice, and don’t think you can fix something you didn’t break!
What do you wish you would have known before you became a Stepmom?
I wish I would have known the “Disney Stereotype” of the Evil StepMother. Hollywood has totally made sure to frame us as wicked and manipulative, but I as well as others are more than happy to demolish that stereotype!
I wish I would have realized that respect isn’t given and even if it is earned, some will still refuse to be respectful.
I wish I would have known not to listen to the opinions and questions of non-stepparents to a degree. The “Which kids are yours? You are not supposed to discipline your stepchildren, you must love your own kids more”. I do listen and I do hear everything, I just chose to stay silent most of the time.
I Love my Bonus Babies very very much, they are extensions of their Daddy and I am so in love with that man. They are kind, thoughtful, loving, talented & they have their KK’s heart!
How do you think Stepmoms are viewed in Society?
Negatively. We are the home wreckers, the outcasts, the “fake” parents, and we have no right to love children that we did not give birth to.
BUT we are crushing that stereotype daily, and I couldn’t be happier with the stepparents that stand up and love regardless of what society thinks.
What’s one thing you couldn’t survive without?
My phone. It holds everything from communication to my family and friends, my Bible app, my calendar and planner, my notes for my book, and my app that tracks feedings and changes on the baby! haha
Tell us about your most awkward Stepmom moment
When I get called “the new wife”. Yes… Yes I am… Nice to meet you! lol
Tell me about all the exciting projects you've been working on!
My blog launches in July, and my book will be complete hopefully by December 2017! I am working my tail off trying to complete these two projects but I get so caught up with spending time with my family! Sorry not sorry!
What's your favourite quote?
“Your greatest contribution to the Kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise” -Andy Stanley
“However I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying the good news of God’s grace”. - Acts 20:24