As you may have noticed on my Instagram Feed, this week my husband and I went away on a little anniversary getaway to one of our favourite places, the JW Marriott on Lake Rosseau. 

This place holds so many special memories for us. It's where got engaged, where we went for our honeymoon, where we go to celebrate, and where we go to just unwind!

We only go in the "off-season" because, well it's cheaper, and we don't love busy! We like to relax, read, connect and just enjoy the quiet! With four kids running around I am sure you can understand why!

{IYou can check out some picture from our getaway below!}

Anywho, while we were at dinner one night, I asked my husband about stepfamily life from his perspective. I wanted to know what his biggest stressor was. 

I'm not entirely sure how I worded the question, but it was something along the lines of:

"What do you think that Stepmoms should know when it comes to managing stepfamily stressors from the husband's perspective" 


With Father's Day coming up on Sunday, I thought this was a perfect time to tell you what my husband thinks that you should know!

1. It's hard for husband's too. He said he often feels like he is being pulled in many different directions and is responsible for keeping everyone happy.  He has to manage his co-parenting relationship with the children's mother, while keeping  me happy and ensuring that all the kids are getting the time and attention that they deserve. He said it is especially difficult when he and I aren't necessarily on the same page about co-parenting issues that arise. 

2. He feels enormous guilt about not being with his kids everyday. Four years in, it hasn't gotten any easier.  (He has shared custody with the children's mother, with a "week-on-week-off schedule) 

3. When the kids are with us, he feels pressure to make up for "lost time" while still making sure that our daughter and I don't feel like we've been put on the back-burner.

It's a lot of pressure.... you're being pulled in so many different directions and you just want to make sure that everyone is happy and content. I know it's extremely stressful for stepmoms, but it's hard of us too!" 

4. Discipline can be very stressful. When you come home from a long day at work and your wife tells you that "the kids did this, and the kids did that", and now you need to go and deal with it ... it's a lot!

He said, "I know it's my responsibility, and I am okay with that"  it's just that if it weren't a stepfamily situation, the "wife" would deal with the discipline if she was the one who was there for the incident. He said that when he is at work, he is often stressed and distracted, hoping that everything is going well at home. 


Wow! I'm not going to lie. It was eye opening to hear about his perspective on stepfamily stepfamily stressors. 

I feel like sometimes we, as stepmoms,  get so caught up in the stressors that we are dealing with that we forget to consider what it's like to walk in our husband's shoes!

If you have anything else that you (or your husband) think that we should add to the list, please comment below! I love hearing from you!) 

xx Jamie

P.S If you're relationship with your man has fallen off the "to-do" list... plan a date night ASAP! Seriously! Plan it right now! It doesn't have to cost a thing.... it can be as simple as cooking dinner at home together, or cuddling up on the couch and watching a movie SANS kids! 

As I said on both my Instagram and Facebook feeds this week:

"A huge part of my work with stepmoms includes helping them understand that their relationship with this husband needs to be a TOP priority.... Because at the end of the day, your husband is the reason why you're a stepmom in the first place"

When your relationship goes off the rails, often the extra stressors that come with stepfamily life become "not worth it" and you end up resenting it all. There is up to a 75% divorce rate for second marriages when kids are involved. So if you've slipped, get your relationship back on your "to-do" list and plan your date night today!!"


What are you doing on June 29?
Let's have a glass of wine & chat all things Stepmom!

Don't wait to get your ticket! Space is LIMITED!
$29 CDN

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