Well hello, Thursday. All I can say is thank-goodness tomorrow is Good Friday and this week is wrapping itself up.
Well, because it's been one of those weeks. Don't worry, nothing monumental or disastrous has happened. There hasn't been a crisis of any sorts. It's just that literally nothing has gone right.
in fact, as I type this post I'm chuckling to myself at how things have gone down this week. It's been one crazy that random event after another....
From hydro outages resulting in a cancelled appointment (a cancelled appointment that I drove over an hour to get to)
to not so great reaction to laughing gas at the dentist (okay this one was serious)
to a toothache equivalent to the pain of child birth
to delayed payments
to a FULL chocolate milkshake being dumped all over my truck
to hours of work lost after unexplainable computer issues
this week has been full of fluke events that have hijacked my productivity in a big fat way.
Even last night I sat down and hammered out an entire blog post on how being a stepmom affected my experience in motherhood, but somehow hit a button and the entire post was gone (to a place even un-do couldn't retrieve)
At that point, all I could do was laugh.
In fact, I've been laughing to myself all week.
A girlfriend said to me "oh my goodness, you must be so frustrated"
and yeah I am, but honestly there isn't much I can do so I need to just shake it off... It's not worth stewing or dwelling. It's not going to change how anything has gone down, and it certainly isn't going to bring back my wasted time.
So how do you deal when shhhhhh gets REALLY bad?
Do you throw yourself a pity party
do you try and look bigger picture and try and keep it all in perspective.
If you ask me, the answer to that question can say a lot about your level of satisfaction in life, and your overall happiness.
I know that because one-upon-a-time when shhhhh went sour I was the one sending out invitations for my big elaborate pity party and dwelling on things that I had absolutely no control over.
It was a time when I wasn't confident, happy, fulfilled or focused in life
I'm not talking about hydro outages and computer crashes anymore, I'm talking about real life stressors. Specifically stressors that are unique to co-parenting, blended families and even my own unique family dynamic.
It's easy to get sucked into a downward spiral when everything seems to be going wrong or when people act in a way that negatively affect your life.
But when you're in that downward spiral, focusing on all the things that have gone wrong, it makes it very hard to see all the things that are going right. It also makes it hard to look at the big picture.
When these things happen, I've learned to ask myself....
Is there anything I can do to change the situation?
If the answer is no, then I figure out how I am going to keep on keepin' on amongst whatever it is that's going on....
Here are some strategies I've used:
- Try and find the humour in it all
- Ask yourself "does this REALLY matter?"
- Find a way to distance yourself from the situation
- Decide how you're going to react to or protect yourself from the negative affects of the situation (now and in the future)
- Make a list of all the things that are going RIGHT!
- walk away
- focus on something positive in your life
- practice the 5/5/5 rule by asking yourself
- Will this matter in 5 minutes? Will this matter in 5 days? Will this matter in 5 years?
Look I know that list is a little "fluffy" because sometimes when shhhhh goes sour it's difficult not to dwell and let it derail your day...
But, the COLD HARD TRUTH is that in life, not everything is going to go as planned. Fluke events will happen, people will act in a way that negatively affect you and your life, you will fail, you will make mistakes, you will have periods in your life when it seems like everything is going wrong....
That's just life.
Yes, this post got a little "deeper" than I intended. Especially since I started out talking about spilled milkshakes and hydro-outages, but the truth is happiness and contentment are as linked to how you deal with spilt milkshakes as they are the really big stuff (like court battles, custody and access disputes....)
Attitude is everything.