My husband has been working his tail off over the last couple months.
Even more than usual.
In addition to his demanding job, he's been been doing some renovations on our cabin up north, with the sole purpose of making it more comfortable for our big blended family.
(It currently has no indoor plumbing. As much as I love the great our doors, I do require a shower!)
The cabin is 5 hours away, so he's been gone overnight A LOT!
And as anyone who has done home renovations knows, the process can be pretty stressful!
Things have become a lot busier for me as well. I've had more deadlines, have been away at a couple conferences, and have been working on some exciting (but time consuming) projects.
He's busier than ever. I'm busier than ever.
The four kids continue to be just plain BUSY!
We're like two ships passing in the night and when we DO see each other, it's bedtime and one of is us sawing logs before the other even gets into the bed.
In addition to be physically tired, we're both emotionally drained. Which means:
- we're quicker to get irritated with each other
- we're more irritable in general
- we're distracted
- we're not communicating
- we're not practicing self-care as much as we should
On up on that, lately, the little things that don't usually bug me about him, have started to. The dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is empty. The socks on the floor. The full roll of toilet paper sitting on top of the empty toilet paper roll.. It's all starting to drive me INSANE!
(Okay, the toilet paper thing has always drove me insane, but you get what I'm saying)
Usually, I don't think twice about these minuscule annoyances, but since we've been so busy and not connecting, the little annoying things seem like BIG annoying things! I've started to sweat the small stuff.
I can say this to you without feeling like you're going to judge me, because we've all been there right?
Life happens! It gets busy. Many times, relationships take the brunt!
So other day, the doorbell rang. It was a plumber. He asked if we had arranged for some work to be done. I said "no sorry, you must have the wrong house" and sent him on his way.
He questioned me, but I said "no really, we did not call a plumber"
A few hours later I got a call from my husband, who was more than a little irrated at me.
"Why did you send the plumber away? He had everything for the bathroom up north. I have to leave with that stuff at 5am tomorrow morning"
I explained to him that I had NO idea that anything was being dropped off, and Mr. Plumber didn't say anything about delivering parts. He had asked if we were getting work done.
Knowing that I was right, my husband was more frustrated at the situation, than me. But, like I said above, I ended up getting the brunt of it.
He clearly has been getting annoyed at me too
When we hung up, I mumbled to myself "jeez I'm not a mind reader, how am I supposed to know" and continued to be straight up annoyed with him.
Within seconds I received a text message.
I thought to myself.... "oh goodness here we go!"
But when I read it, he said....
"Get a sitter on Monday night, we need a date night"
I laughed to myself and wrote back "I'm on it"
Do you want to know how we knew that we needed a date night?
Because we are starting to drive each other crazy!
We are quicker to snap. We aren't communicating. Details are getting missed.
We need to get back on the same page, and make some time to just talk!!
Moral of the story, when your spouse starts to drive you crazy - You don't need less of him, you need more of him.
It's a sign that you need to book yourself a date night (or three)
When you and your man are at you best, you're better able to deal with extra stressors that come with blended family life... and just life in general. Oh, and you're less likely to sweat things like missed plumbers.
For those of you who are wondering, all turned out okay with the plumber situation. The guy came back and we are well on our way to having full washroom capabilities at the cabin! (Thank-God) #firstworldproblems