This summer I made the commitment to start reading more. So far I've done okay. By that I mean, I've managed to read one book. (Hey, when you were doing ZERO reading to begin with, it's pretty easy to make some progress)
Yes, I am actually saying this out loud... Even though it was my choice, there were times when I was really struggling with our inability to get pregnant, that I wondered whether my decision to be a stepmom robbed me from having the number of children I was truly meant to have.
Comments in the thread below were full of other moms, giving each other virtual high-fives and pats on the back. Part of me chuckled at these status updates because they made me feel less guilty. But another part of me became a little annoyed and a little jealous. Here is where the double standard between moms and stepmoms rears its ugly head.
With the number of blended families and stepmoms in our Society, the stigma and assumptions often surprise me. Especially because I am connected with so many stepmoms who absolutely adore their stepchildren and treat them as they are their own.
HOWEVER after I posted the rant, I receive a message from one of my Instagram Followers that brought me back to reality.
Look, I don't always post nitty gritty details about my own personal struggles, because I am very cognicent about how what I write affects the people in my family. The internet is forever, and I refuse to air my dirty laundry online. But make no mistake, it's not always rainbows & unicorns. From my experiences as a child of divorce all the way to a stepmom, like many of you, I have experienced abandonment, personal attacks, high-conflict situations, heartache and even accusations.
I love this age. My daughter turns three in just under a month and I have to say this is my favourite age yet. Even though it is heart breaking that my baby girl, is no longer a baby girl, watching her to grow into the spunky, kind-hearted, funny girl that she is, makes my heart do things I didn't know were possible. It's also makes me think... a lot. Specifically about who I am as a parent and what I want to teach this young impressionable little girl. It's no longer about skin-to-skin and feeding schedules. It's about supporting her in becoming a caring, kind-hearted, successful and ambitious human being.
Well hello, Thursday. All I can say is thank-goodness tomorrow is Good Friday and this week is wrapping itself up.
Well, because it's been one of those weeks. Don't worry, nothing monumental or disastrous has happened. There hasn't been a crisis of any sorts. It's just that literally nothing has gone right. In fact, as I type this post I'm chuckling to myself at how things have gone down this week. It's been one crazy that random event after another....
Most nights I lay awake worrying... and scrolling through my phone. In the morning, I was so tired my face hurt. I couldn't get organized and despite a never ending to-do list, I couldn't seem to scratch things off.Instead, I caught myself meaninglessly scrolling through my social media feeds, responding to emails that could wait... and like I said, being unproductive!
I normally keep things pretty positive around here. But today, I just need to get some things off my chest. It’s been weighing on me for a while now, and well… something needs to be said. Today I am writing this post because the internet has been pissing me right off. Yes, that’s right the internet. Specifically, the people on the internet. More specifically, the topic and issues that are getting so much attention from mothers. Day after day I find myself scrolling through my newsfeed asking myself, “why do they even care?” Let me explain.
There will be a time when the kids are all grown-up. When co-parenting, child support, vacation schedules and all the tedious conversations that come with blended family life will no longer be part of your day-to-day.
Over the past several months I’ve tried to play it cool when people ask whether or not we are going to have another baby. “We’re not trying to, but we’re not trying not to”. “We’re so busy, who knows if we can handle another child”. “Someday for sure, just waiting for the perfect time” “We’re going to wait until after [insert next big event here] to start trying. The truth is, we have been trying for several months. Hard. And we've had no luck.
I've made it no secret that every now and then, I am blown away by some of the things that come out of people’s mouths! The things that people have said about my role as a stay-at-home-mom/stepmom, working-at-home-mom… however you want to categorize me on any particular day, is no exception.
Last week my hairdresser and I had a brief conversation about motherhood, and the notion of having it all together.We both agreed, somedays we feel like we've totally rocked this whole motherhood gig and other days, well, not so much.
I am someone who love a fresh start... any chance to reflect, plan and regroup. Monday's, September, January, the beginning of a new month. They all make me giddy!So giddy that this time, I'm not waiting for the beginning of 2017 to get started! I'm starting right NOW!
Despite waking up to new pearl earrings from my amazing husband (thank-you babe, I promise not to lose this pair) the day was pretty much business as usual. Actually, it was a little more chaotic than usual.
Anywho, a few nights ago, we were sitting at my in-laws house, relaxing after a crazy day when we realized that our two-year-old did what two-year-olds do.... She pooped.
Rock paper scissors... Paper covers rock
Sweet! My husband was on diaper duty!
I sat back, all ready to pour a glass of vino and a lightbulb went off in my head!
I forgot the diapers at home. Yep! it was 8:50pm on Saturday night and I had a shitty baby sans diapers!
I wanted to snap. I was so disappointed in myself and honestly my husband wasn't that thrilled with me either. All we had were three swim diapers and if you're familiar with them, they don't hold jack(shit).